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The unofficial guide to dating again

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The 37-year-old who works at an ad agency, has a sweet pit bull, and an enviable vinyl collection — but is so obviously not over his ex-fiancée.

I was fresh out of a relationship, breakup wounds still searing.

"Then, you can sleep with him." Great, I thought, something else to count besides days till the next mortgage payment. She even told me how to find that first date – on the dance floor at a country bar. Romance"), psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (Wiley), “If and when sex is right, it will happen – there’s no advantage in rushing." Be Open to Opportunity If you meet your prospect at a friend's party, the two of you get along, and then you wind up leaving at the same time, pay attention to which way he points his car.

I didn't bother telling her I can't dance, let alone two-step. Those of us starting over for the second or third – or fourth – time have a billion questions that go beyond, "What now? If it trails behind you on the freeway, it might mean he lives in your neighborhood.

People who get involved too quickly shut out others because they don’t rotate dates.

"Wait six dates or six weeks, whichever comes first," she told me, sipping her pinot gris.

“Dating several men can be a good choice for women, because many women tend to settle for the first man who comes along,” she says.

“Seeing how different men relate to you can open your eyes about what you want in a man.” She also says there’s no need to tell the person you’re with about other dates if you don't have an exclusivity agreement — which I agree with.

I've enjoyed the fun aspects of being with a partner without being tied down to one person emotionally.

And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.