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I coach all of my clients through a “marriage map” exercise to create a road map of a partner that will make them happy, which is necessary to start picking the right people. Many women stare blankly at me when I ask this question, because they’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else around them that they’ve totally lost sight of what makes them happy.

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The key: You not only answer a bunch of multiple-choice questions about your lifestyle and preferences to create your own profile, but get to choose which answers you want to see in your potential matches, as well as how important each of those answers is.

Of the four online dating sites we tested in-depth, OKCupid is the only one to base its matching algorithms off such robust parameters.

Good messages were respectful, asked something about our profile, and displayed a sincere interest in getting to know us better.

It has a large user base that doesn’t discriminate, a clean and easy-to-navigate interface across all devices, and its matching algorithms gave us the best results in our tests.

We made profiles on four dating sites — OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match, and e Harmony — and evaluated them on the quality of the matches they provided and overall usability.

First, we looked at how easy it was to create a unique and interesting profile.

A-List subscribers get read receipts, incognito mode, and a larger inbox.

There’s also a boost feature, which is supposed to ensure your profile gets seen by more users.