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I can’t even imagine how painful this has been for you.I don’t know how much you know about 12 step programs like the one I am involved in.The kind of conversation outlined in italics above will not save your marriage, but it could be what gets the ball rolling in the right direction. Depending on where you all are, your wife may even get angry or skeptical about why you are suddenly doing this. A formal or clinical disclosure, done with the guidance of a skilled therapist, is a crucial first step to finding recovery in your marriage.I find these are much more successful when done in the context of a couple’s three day intensive.

Fortunately my sponsor is there to talk to me when I am feeling overwhelmed. Are you incapable of being present in your marriage while doing recovery?It may feel like she is trying to take charge of your recovery.In a minute I’ll explain what she doesn’t need to know.Hopefully that will help both you and her to have more productive conversations.You simply cannot do sex education with a big one-off talk (even if you think you have covered everything).