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Hilarious dating quotes

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Last week, I was honored to have been selected to speak at the Ignite San Diego event. GREAT question, and honestly, I had never even heard of these types of events before, but someone on twitter suggested I apply to present, so I looked more into it. So here’s the thing, Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching at the inevitable speed of one second per second, with every second that passes by. Okay, I’m just going to admit it, and come out and say it.

Elementary my dear Watson, it’s easier to button up with the right hand. Miss, where did you buy these thin and curved pantyhose? When your ex says “you’ll never find anyone like me” reply with “that’s the point”. Dear prince on a white horse, if you won’t show up soon, I will start dating with that stupid goat with the new Mercedes. Other funny sayings, similar to dating sayings you may find in categories: If you know a great funny saying about dating, or you have a whole story that happened for you – please share it with community. It’s been said before, but it deserves repeating: Yas, kween.Although it would be nearly impossible to pick all of our most-loved Broad City moments, we rounded up some of the most memorable.This, of course, is the same Michael Owen who reportedly earned £133,000 per week at Newcastle, who at one point during his Stoke City season had earned £7,000 per minute played, and who has made a vast wealth outside of football in racehorses and advertising. Stanley Matthews was playing in the wrong era, Michael. And just FYI, you’re gonna want to send these quotes to the Ilana or Abbi in your life.