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You could also use the computer to research cultural, educational, social opportunities in your area. I see that your local town has an alternative health centre that offers all kinds of services.

Take this one small step at a time: an appointment with your doctor, one or two phone calls to the friends with whom you feel most comfortable meeting up. I would recommend a massage, some yoga, and even some counselling or hypnotherapy for your phobias, something your GP might also help you with.

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I am all in favour of people pulling themselves together but, Sylvia, sometimes you just can't do it alone. If you live in a state of fear and panic and cry all the time, you are suffering from serious depression, or even having a nervous breakdown, and you must explain your situation to your GP.

Now I just want to hide and cry, knowing that nobody misses me. I cook, keep myself attractive, stay slim, walk my dog, but I feel constantly that some disaster is about to happen.

I sometimes feel ashamed and that I am being punished.

We are very good at our own company, too, and a lot of the time it works.I live in a large house in big grounds, and since my husband's death I have had to do an enormous amount of restoration and maintenance.I have learned so much in dealing with builders, making constant decisions and paying bills.You can find someone to teach you how, or go to classes.Your grandchildren almost certainly only communicate by email and text and will happily stay in touch with you if you start emailing them. With Skype – a free internet service – you can communicate with them via computer, even face to face.Yes, you can manage and handle things and look after yourself but you are very unhappy.