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Jehovah’s Witnesses view dating, not as recreation, but as a form of courtship, a serious step toward marriage.

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Am I suggesting you start sharing a bed with your best friend?No, not necessarily, that’s not the point of this piece.You’ll see a man with his legs spread wide, his arms out, taking up two or three seats, and then you’ll see a woman across from him narrowly occupying the edge of hers, with a child on each knee. But here I was in this bed, crumpled up as narrowly as possible, so far to my side of the mattress that I was nearly falling off.I was so in my head, each time I would toss and turn, being certain to not to brush my arm against his shoulder or move my foot or legs too close to his side. What did I fear the consequence might be if we did touch?I wanted to think of myself as one of those groundbreaking, “post-gender” dudes who’d be able to share a bed with another guy and not have it be a big deal.

I could hear the nagging voice in my head: By the end of the two weeks, much of the awkwardness had worn off. For example, have you ever had a subconscious, physical response to something that completely contradicts your conscious, social-political beliefs?And it’s not solely carried out amongst men but by women as well, with strangers and friends, relatives and colleagues – a conspiracy in which, to one degree or another, all of us are complicit.It was then that I realized the ways in which I had been a part of this conspiracy myself.He was staying in a modest home with a family of five.I was twenty-one and broke, had barely been able to scrape together the money for the plane ticket, so an alternative lodging situation was completely out of the question.I thought of the sometimes subtle but mostly heavy-handed ways in which I had been socialized to be repulsed by anything even suggestive of male intimacy or affection, how any of the aforementioned behaviors had been ruthlessly policed, shamed, and prohibited.