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Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.

A few weeks later, she joined him for "a wonderful weekend" in his home state. (For men, the figure was 90 percent.) And should they be propositioned by someone they found attractive, 48 percent of the women (and 69 percent of the men) said they would be tempted to have sex outside the relationship.

"Don't book the church yet, Mom — it was just a hookup!

" At first, her disclosure strikes you as too much information.

If you weren't blessed with socially confident parents or, friends who did really well with women when you were at school, it can be a very difficult thing to learn as an adult."In this country we tend to live in large houses, in sprawling car-dominated cities, everyone held at a distance; it's not a tight-knit living arrangement like many European cities."We've also inherited some of the 'sexual repression' of the English, as well as their preference for dealing with all romantic and sexual matters after quite a few drinks. Well, if you're a single man in Perth, James feels sorry for you. Men have a huge number attractive, intelligent women (who will only date a certain kind of guy) and a large number of tourists to choose from," says James.

He's thus rather uniquely positioned to compare the pros and cons of each (except Darwin and Hobart, sorry)."Generally, Australian men are a little less socially and romantically savvy, compared to Europeans and even Americans," says James."Dating skills and social intelligence are certainly not subjects taught at school, which is a bit unfortunate. He theorises that any male with a "bit of go in him" leaves Adelaide by age 21, leaving many extremely hot girls to fight it out for whoever's left (that'd be the dude with the mullet)."There also seems to be a decent population of attractive, international students in the city because of Adelaide Uni," he says."The main negative for guys is that local, more 'enlightened' men, report struggling to find an interesting conversation with attractive women."It may be a little politically incorrect but there are hot Aussie bogan chicks galore with nowhere near enough attractive men to go around."Hello, Jetstar? Sydney "For guys who know what they are doing and who tick most of the boxes, Sydney is very easy.

In a national study conducted in 2012, the Center for Sexual Health Promotion found sex partners over 50 twice as likely to use a condom when they regarded a sexual encounter as casual rather than as part of an ongoing relationship.

Mature sex partners do not have the best track record when it comes to using condoms, but at least they're likelier to use them when they know very little about a partner's sexual past — or present!

I've been hearing my girlfriends discuss their wins and losses with a variety of online-dating phone apps, so I'm breaking down the newest means of tech-based courtship.

En español | You made the mistake of asking your adult daughter if that guy she went out with last night was "anything serious." She gave you a nonchalant shrug and smiled.