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I don't know why, but I finally felt like sharing it.

Finding love is always challenging, but it’s especially hard in a city with tunnel-vision-like focus on appearance for someone who doesn’t match the high standards set for beauty in Los Angeles.

Some of them are just out there for everyone to see.

Skinny girls have their own struggles when searching for love too.

No law says I have to lower my standards, even though sometimes a guy will make me feel like I do. I’ll never forget the time a friend implied that I should “keep to my own.” Since I am heavy, I guess I need to date a heavy guy. I'm not allowed to be attracted to Chris Evans because he's fit.

A skinny guy would never be attracted to a fat girl. To be clear, I’ve dated guys of all shapes and sizes.

As the chief lawmaker of my own village, I abide by a somewhat irrational code of conduct.When they folded, it was returned to me to do as I wish.And then I suddenly found myself afraid to publish it so it's been in a folder for a few months.“If I wear this long jacket and stand just so, no one will even realize how overweight I am.” “If the lighting at the restaurant is dim enough, I can totally get away with this top.” “If I wear these heels, my legs will look slimmer. ” “If I make self-deprecating jokes about the size of my ass and make him laugh, he’ll fall in love with my sense of humor.” “If I show up later in the evening, all the beautiful people will have gone home.” “If I show up earlier in the evening, all the beautiful people won’t be there yet.” “If he isn’t interested, it’s fine — who meets their soulmate in a bar anyway? In a very pragmatic way, it is also actually physically hard to meet someone in Los Angeles.Our bars and restaurants are crowded, and I hate being the big girl trying to squeeze into a booth or through the room. Asking a restaurant hostess to move my party to another table because I literally could not fit into it.I’ve been on the receiving end of some rather shocking insults I never would have dreamt a person could say.