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Nobody will judge you, as nobody can find out your real name. How is it that the only conversation I had was with a person on private chat that was sitting right in front of me. Why is it that neither of us "reported" each other and sent everything from vulgar images to name calling to saying some of the nicest things to each other. If these "mods" see something they don't like they throw you into a "prison" chat room for an undetermined amount of time to "rehab".

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“You get to see that I’m uncomfortable, and with that, the compassion response kicks in.

There are many steps and they’re all bypassed when we text.” When the apology takes place over the phone rather than in person, the visual cues are lost, of course, but the voice — and the sense of hurt and contrition it can convey — is preserved.

Turkle cites the texted apology — or what she calls “saying ‘I’m sorry’ and hitting send” — as a vivid example of what’s lost when we type instead of speak.

“An 18-year-old I interviewed recently said, ‘Someday, but certainly not now, I want to learn to have a conversation.'” Adults are much less likely to be so conversation-phobic, but they do become conversation-avoidant — mostly because it’s easier.

MORE: Read TIME’s special report on how your phone is changing the world (and your life) here.

A Current Affair reporter Ben Mc Cormack had been exchanging lewd pictures with a man for two years, police will allege.

Turkle believes that having a conversation with another person teaches kids to, in effect, have a conversation with themselves — to think and reason and self-reflect.

“That particular skill is a bedrock of development,” she told me.